I feel pretty good having conquered the first week. The last time I tried to start a Whole30 I gave up, like, three days in. Ha. My heart wasn’t really in that one, though, so I didn’t have the determination to stick with it. This time will be better for sure, despite the cravings already being bad. Oy. I was grocery shopping at Publix earlier today and I swear I could smell the bakery section all the way through the store. Looking at apples? The smell of doughnuts came wafting by. Examining grass-fed ground beef? More doughnuts.
I don’t even like doughnuts! But I want one today.
I think part of that comes with simply being tired of being so diligent, and wanting to be lazy for just a few minutes so I can eat a piece of chocolate or maybe a slice of pizza. Even if it’s only been seven days, I’m already getting a little tired. The second wind will come! And I’ll be fine for a bit before I get tired of it again. C’est la vie. Or C’est la Whole30.
I had the fun experience of having a “home visit” today. And by “fun” I mean “super awkward.” I’m going to start volunteering with Big Brothers Big Sisters of Birmingham and part of the application process requires that they come visit your place of residence to make sure it’s not sketchy or that you’re hiding firearms in a closet somewhere. The application process in general has been pretty lengthy and in-depth, but I completely understand why. Whenever you deal with kids in any context you really have to cover all your bases to ensure that you don’t allow creepers and people who would hurt them in. So I’ve had to fill out a lot of paperwork, go to a couple of orientations, provide a lot of documents, etc. But it will be worth it to have this experience! Having been out of college and in the “real world” for few years now I’ve definitely lost touch with volunteering, especially when it comes to kids. I’ve always loved to work with them and have held several jobs that involved just that. I love how honest kids are, how imaginative and creative and passionate and just plain funny. I find that I relate to them on a lot of levels still, because I am an eight year-old girl at heart. I love that you can be goofy and ridiculous and all those sorts of behaviors that you can’t be when you have to be an adult. And the kids in this particular program need someone in their life who is an adult–stable, dependent, and all those important qualities–but also silly and willing to just have fun with them.
I didn’t expect the visit to be very long, as my apartment is rather small and the process of looking around it and making sure that I wasn’t hiding anything terrible would not take more than a few minutes. The girl in charge of the application process has been really nice and helpful all throughout, and I do really like her. However, it seems as though every conversation we’ve had has gone in the same direction and left me looking like a complete weirdo. She’ll ask me a question, and I’ll answer. She’ll continue to look at me once I’ve finished speaking for a few moments and in those moments I’ll begin to think “Oh, I need to say more!” And that’s when it all goes downhill.
You see, I have this problem where anytime I have to answer questions or be put on the spot in that sort of context I tend to overcompensate by simply saying ALL THE THINGS.
I just start talking. And I can’t make it stop.
It was especially awful in college when I had a presentation because no matter how strict of an outline I made for myself, even if I typed the words down and tried to read from a piece of paper, I would always find a way to saw the most random stuff that would get me completely lost from the point I was trying to make. What may have started out as a complex analysis of an Edgar Allen Poe poem could end up with me stumbling over talking about ravens and making up semi-trueish facts about how their black feathers were a common representation of death and how Poe obviously knew this and that’s why he chose a raven and not a “normal” bird like a pigeon or a dove and panicking as I listened to the words falling out of my mouth with no idea how to MAKE IT STOP. Until I ran myself into a wall and could extrapolate any further because me and everyone in the room was thoroughly lost.
These situations still occur today, but in the form of job interviews or–in recent events–volunteer interviews.
Her: Do you keep alcohol in your house? If so, where do you keep it?
Me: Oh, um, yes. I sometimes have it in my house. I have a bottle of it right now, actually. It’s in the closet.
Which sounds weird. But I’m not drinking right now, so I put it in the closet so it would be “out of sight out of mind.”
But I don’t normally keep it in my closet! I keep it in the fridge. Which I would not do if my Little was over at my house. Definitely not. But you should just know that I have a bottle right now. And it’s in my closet.
To her credit, she always smiles after I’ve finished making a fool of myself and hasn’t kicked me out of the application process yet. So there’s hope for me and my awkward self.
Breakfast: Breakfast bowl (I need a new breakfast dish).
Lunch: Leftovers of the filling for the stuffed peppers sans the pepper and served over sautéed kale.
Dinner: Thai meatballs with sauce and cauli-rice. You can find the recipe here, although I tweaked it some. I don’t much care for regular curry, so I used curry paste in lieu of curry powder (two very different things) and just used ground beef for the meatballs.
Dessert: Green grapes! They haven’t had any the last few weeks when I went grocery shopping, so I was excited to find some today.