I’m pretty sure several people received the same text earlier today:
“I WANT ICE CREAM”
One of them being my brother, who finished his Whole30 yesterday and had the pleasure of eating whatever the hell he wanted today (I’m sure he didn’t go crazy, but still) (I’m envious).
Because it’s true statement–I really, really want some ice cream. I want to eat oodles and oodles of it, bowls and bowls. Obviously that is a thing I should definitely not do right after I finish my Whole30 because I will get pretty sick. But. I may or may not be buying a pint of my favorite flavor sometime in the next week…
To anyone who cares: it’s Ben & Jerry’s New York Fudge. Om nom nom nom.
For sure I will have a bar of chocolate on hand to celebrate the end of the month, as that’s what I did last year when I completed it. I have a meeting at work my very first night off of the Whole30, so I can’t really do anything too crazy food-wise. Probably a good thing in the not-getting-sick-department, but a hard thing in the I-want-chocolate-and-cheese one. Ha!
It’s kind of a scary thought for me on some levels to be finished with the 30 days already. I did this challenge in an effort to prove to myself that I can do hard things. And I’ve dealt with some challenging stuff in my personal life these past few weeks; not eating junk food during these really stressful and emotionally-potent times has been extremely difficult. I am a stress eater.
Food is my comfort when things are hard. I know some of it tastes really, really good and I can depend on that amidst everything else in my life being unsteady and unsure.
Not being able to eat ice cream, or bring home a pizza on nights that I was so exhausted and didn’t feel like cooking was hard. Damn, it was hard.
But in a weird way I needed to be able to prove to myself that I’m able to overcome.
One of my mentors–a woman who has proved herself to be capable of conquering insanely hard things by taking up foster care–at one point had a poster in her house that said that very phrase: We can do hard things. I love the idea of having that displayed in a way that stares you in the face and reminds you daily of the fact when no one else can or will. No excuses. I mean, if she can wake up every day and do the tough job of loving when it’s impossible and denying her self to help others, despite the hundreds of setbacks and disappointments she’s endured, despite her life being harder than anyone else’s that I know of… then I can manage not to eat chips and queso every time I’m feeling bad. I can make myself eat good things and practice good habits when things are hard because that’s the only way I can become stronger.
Doing hard things SUCKS. But doing hard things has made me a better person, a person I can look in the mirror and be proud of.
But beyond transitioning back into “normal” life, I’m a little nervous about what to do with this blog. It started out as a way to keep myself accountable, not only with the Whole30, but with my writing habits. I feel a little unsure about what I will talk about in the future, but I know that I’ve really enjoyed the experience of having a place to write and process. I like having this outlet and I want to continue to employ it in my everyday life. I may not post daily, as I have attempted to do the past several weeks, but I hope to be here often rambling on about the random crap that happens in my life as well as still talking about the issue that will always be near and dear to my heart:
Breakfast: Sweet potato hash with sausage and kale
Lunch: Kale with tuna and guacamole (I’m trying so hard to get rid of that kale before it goes bad)
Dinner: Crockpot pork ribs (recipe here… Google comes up with some interesting places for Paleo recipes) with crispy cabbage slaw and more guacamole